Free connected guideline for leather hair on carpets
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It’s chapter one of my new novel, which is (you can probably guess, post-apocalyptic)He trudged through the plain looking at the cracked leather on the toes of his boots. Beaten soles and worn heels stained with many roads dirt. His elbows were dry and the skin split when he bent them. His hair matted to his head like a dead thing. No sun. No clouds to hope by. Air was stale and thick and seemed to column and feint west for the oncoming storm. He knew. He had an empty wine bottle with the wrapping with an unknown legend printed on the front torn off and discarded days ago. His lips dry and his skin wet with a sheen of sweat. The jacket was old and dirty and smelled more and more like him each passing day. He found it in a house built maybe long before he was born. The early 20s, this had been. In the house there were pictures and grapes and apples and several mangos on the kitchen floor. He took these. Hadn’t eaten in three days before then. There were suitcases with clothes hanging halfway out and a wet spot on one part of the carpet which smelled of mold. He slept there for a night and went on. The days were getting darker and he thought there would be nothing left but the still night. Waiting for him. Weeping and waiting.He rolled a cigarette from the weird tobacco he found fire-cured many years ago growing in the alkaline soil. The smoke plumed blue coming leather hair on carpets out his mouth as he inhaled it through his nostrils. He stopped on the plain and sat down and looked at the mountains those many miles away. He would get to the piedmont in days and no less. Maybe a week. The ground was callus and occupied with certain objects of no real use. Hornblende and flint everywhere. The fossils of small animals. Mice and snakes and lizards. Rocks as far as the eye could see. The heat was everywhere and he was in it just like the spirit of the wind in the earth. The cigarette burned slow. Ashes grew from the cherry and fell and blew in the light wind over his face and broke on his cheek. Thunder cracked many miles away. There would be no rain, though. He smoked the last of the stale leaf and threw the butt on the dry ground and looked once more at the blackened bones and went on.The clouds etched signs in the sky of old language. He walked to the mountains and got within a mile before the wind stopped completely and the heat was all there was. He stripped his jacket off and stuffed as much of it as he could in his already full knapsack. Miscellaneous things in the bag like silverware he found and pencil sharpeners and water bottles and his gun. It was very oily and chrome. Full magazine. He never shot it before, but he had it just the same.. He thought there was nothing else out there to be wary of anyway.At the mountains he stopped and decided to camp for the night before he would go on. He pitched the tarp with metal rods he found somewhere many years ago. Rusted and old. He licked his lips and coughed and spat out blood and wiped his mouth and finished putting the tent up. By the time he was done his arms were tired and he needed water. He remembered the water he extracted from the stream by the levee a week ago and went in his knapsack to fetch it. Warm and still and with mineral. He drank to a quarter of the bottle and stopped and put it back in his bag. He needed to eat still. Nothing in the plain. No animals and no water for several miles. His stomach wrestled itself and he placed his hand against it and spoke aloud. Words he forgot he knew and would never utter again. No words were spoken anymore.Gazelle once grazed the plain and coyote and hare. Thriving things no more. Although he never knew this he had an idea of the animals that used to live here before. The bones were all over the ground and he once considered grinding them and eating them. The marrow at least. But there was nothing to be eaten. He stopped and got on his knees and pulled out the map and unrolled it on the brown grass. Names of cities gone many, many years ago and the people gone too. He recognized a place where he met his first love and he looked up at the sky plugged the color of old putty and dimpled with clouds and looked down to the horizon full of charted path without ornament and wept.
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{ 12 comments }
Start feeding your cat more.More cat food, less electrical appliances
It is all about management. First of all, GS’s are very active dogs. They are working dogs. They need to be stimulated and worked. Your dogs needs to be active. Take him to the dog park. Take him for walks, etc. He needs to be active. This breed is known for needing an active lifestyle.Basic obedience classes will help tremendously with getting him to settle down. He needs positive reinforcement training. That will not only settle him down for your sake, but give him something to do. Work so to speak.I understand your frustration, but it truly is all about mgmt. Check in your local area. PetsMart, PetCo, in-home obedience trainers or even some community colleges offer basic obedience classes for their community. Good Luck!
Nice concept. The viewpoint of both characters! Your writing has a nice easy flow that engages the reader. You have ALOT of potential. Which genre is this intended for?
She has sensory integration disorder. Talk to her pediatrician. Her sense of taste is hyposensitive. Trust me on this, both of my kids have it. My son is hepersensitive and wont put anything including food in his mouth and my daughter is hyposensitive and puts all kinds of nasty things in her mouth, and eats like food is going out of style. They get therapy from easter seals and it helps so much. Google hyposensitivity or sensory integration disorder.
Yea I thought it was really good!! Keep writing and develop it more
It was well written, however, watch out for beginning most sentences with he. I know it’s difficult, I have the same problem, but it will greatly affect the effect that the descriptions have on your readers.
wow…Its really hard to tell being that there is so much going on. Here are some descriptions of the major things that occured in your dream.Flood:If the flood was gentle and the water clear you will soon see an end to all the worries that have been plaguing you about a certain matter. but if the water was angry and muddy this denotes that you will have great trials and tribulations in life. If the water does not drown you, you will eventually win out over your adversaries. If you are swept away by the flood, then that is a warning that someone is trying to use you. Witches:Seeing a witch probably symbolizes that you are in touch with your intuition, utilizing your power in positive ways, or becoming increasingly creative. This symbol might also be a sign that some heretofore unrealized gifts are manifesting in your psyche. The witch may also be pointing to progress you have made with owning your own power thereby becoming more self-actualized. Vampires:Vampires, for most people, represent powerful and evil creatures. Dreaming about vampires suggests that the dreamer may be feeling overwhelmed in some areas of his or her life and is struggling with negative thoughts, feelings, and actions. You may be currently concerned about ethical or moral issues and are experiencing anxiety as a result. The vampire represents personal attributes or negative habits that drain energy and resources or cause emotional exhaustion. If you are being attacked by a vampire, you may perceive yourself as a powerless victim. Interpreting this dream’s message may help you to identify the source of your negative feelings and helplessness.
It’s an interesting story, and well done. However, your English is rather stilted and you use a lot of prepositions incorrectly – on, at, in. I would guess English is your second language, as you have used some odd words in your description. You light a cigarette – you do not turn it on, and you can say furrowed brows instead of eyebrows – that’s redundant.”clicking the tiled floor with his leather shoes.” I think you mean tapping his foot, and there are other such phrases that just are not used in English.That being said, your story is a good one, just keep writing and learning English.
I think it is great. But I have a tip on your writing skills. As a writer too, be more elaborate and take note on the word counts. Some novels are long and most of them are really bestsellers. The reason? Because they are really elaborated and detailed and that is what I think you lack. Try making more scenes before they got serious. Also why not make the serious part on chapter 2 or 3? I hope this was helpful.
I hear you. People on Y!A always assume when they read stories that the person who wrote it intends to publish it.I writee too, but I probably won’t publish my work for AT LEAST another decade.I get that it’s a hobby of yours and that the topic was of your interest, so you wrote the story. It’s nice. Great discriptions.
I’m not sure how to improve it. It’s great, keep going. 
Writing is a great hobby, never give up on it.
Love the idea! This is really cool and descriptive, you’ve got me hooked ha ha, i want to read more!Just be careful not to repeat things. Also you changed the narrative from 3rd to 1st. It would be fine if you let the main guy describe her room and everything. But other than that great job! Keep up the good work!
-you use “eluded” wrong. eluded means to hint to something else.-how are carpets “bitter”? do you mean “bitterly cold”?-who is Kasha? is he the guy? -bacon wouldnt sleep on a skillet, rather it would jump. -when you describe Kasha, you use a run on sentence. Fix that. You can make that pgh longer.Your dialogue. Stop telling us so much in the dialogue. Let the actions speak for themselves. Use dialogue to express emotion or to further plot or character relationships. Overall, not bad. I like the theme of the plot. Just watch your description. You’re probably looking for more creative ways of description, but you don’t have to do that. Just let it come naturally. As far as your description of earlier plot points (i.e. their meeting at the diner), watch how you write that. Don’t tell us so much about what happened. I personally as a reader would love if you went deeper into the flashback and showed us exactly what happened.Good job so far. Just keep editing, and best of luck. Always keep writing!
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